Wintry Daze and Christmas Lists

There was snow outside this morning.

It draped the windows and frosted the rooftops. It was the kind of snow that isn't too heavy that a bundled up walk outside wounds delightful. I would love to go to the malls to see the decorations and get some Christmas shopping done.

I'm still on my path to recovery, so shopping on my own isn't really an option. But I have to get some shopping done this year.

I've never considered dropping DL from my Christmas list until this very moment. I told him about my recent medical events, part of which he knew, but he had no idea as to the dates and timing of it all. I told him by text message and he responded in kind. But we haven't seen each other since May. That's a long time. Would he make the effort to spend some alone time with me? Would he even consider me worthwhile enough to put on his Christmas list? I don't insist upon reciprocation, but there is the notion that I'm a priority. Am I? I am not that presumptuous. He's dropped in my list of priorities, as I'm sure I have for him. Then again, there is the spot in my heart he has, and I have in his. Is that enough to try and schedule a precarious meeting or inconspicuous purchases that we'll both have to hide from our significant others.

I'm not melancholy, I'm loving myself and my family at the moment - and that's what I intended from the get go, when I made the decision that DL and I would have to hold off on our physical relationship. I wish I was fully recovered so I wasn't so dependent on people, so that I could go out and enjoy my Christmas shopping and take a brisk walk down the city streets. I'm progressing, but I've never been the patient kind.

When told of my progress, DL sent "congrats..."

Does he send that message in his own melancholy? Does he send it with hope that we will resume our relationship? Does it put me in his mind when he's out Christmas shopping?