Guilt, Expectations, and Deserving Honesty

Guilt is a funny thing. I feel no guilt with DL because there is no expressed and agreed to commitment. With H, he was absent enough for it to feel acceptable so I felt no guilt because I was given a certain length of 'coping' (with which I could have easily hung myself).  Let's not quibble over moral right and wrong, but that's how I saw it.

But now I am a little confused. I see H's sacrifices a little more clearly. He changes his lifestyle to be more physically present and more emotionally and financially supportive. Sure, I sacrifice too, he doesn't question that, in fact he does all he can to assist, but  he bears his sacrifice in silence. We have each other for support., but he tries to be as strong as he possibly can without complaint, and that is a wonderful thing. And this is what brings in a twinge of guilt.

He goes above and beyond my expectations. He is a perfect mate. He endures hardship to ensure my comfort. He wasn't always this way. He has grown into our relationship and is far more caring and nurturing than he ever was before. All he asks in return is to be a good mate in return, and for him, this includes unequivocal  monogamy. Doesn't a person who expresses such trusting  and honest affection deserve to have their relationship expectations met? Hard question to answer, especially when I don't feel any differently about wanting a to have the odd naughty night out.

So what's a girl to do? Thankfully I don't feel the urge to do anything naughty at the moment. I have some time to mull this over. My libido tends to wake up in the spring when I'm coming out of hibernation, so these are the timelines I'm anticipating. 

How potent must lust be to dissolve guilt? It's sad that I know there is an answer to this question, because it means I know that I can always succumb if all the elements fall into the right place.